Israeli politics and a light bulb

How many kibbutzniks do you need to change a light bulb? We got the generator, now the Government has to provide us with the lightbulbs.

How many Likudniks do you need to change a light bulb? May I remind you that Menachem Begin, z’’l, brought us light bulbs from Egypt and they still work.

How many Hareidi do you need to change a light bulb? What’s a light bulb?

How many Meretz members you need to change a light bulb? What’s a Meretz member?

How many Litvacks do you need to change a light bulb? I said and I repeat: What’s a light bulb? Which kind of light are you talking about? And what is the bulb?

How many Shas members you need to change a light bulb? They found a light bulb in Aryeh Deri’s pocket but he is innocent.

How many Arab MPs do you need to change a light bulb? It is clearly part of a colonialist project this attempt to change the natural light under which Arabs and Jews and Samaritans, and Christians and Druzes, and ETs have lived in peaceful harmony for thousands of years before the Nakbah, which we refuse to celebrate, therefore we won’t change the lightbulb and we’ll stay in the dark.

How many Bait Yehudi members you need to change a lightbulb? If you cannot protect your lightbulb, it is not worth having one.

How many Atid members you need to change a light bulb? While I am serving in the Army, you are here losing time with stupid questions.

How many Kulanu members you need to change a light bulb? While many good citizens are serving in the Army, you are here losing time with stupid questions and the economy goes into crumbles.

How many Beitenu members you need to change a light bulb? While we are serving in the Army, and changing all the lightbulbs, you are here losing time with stupid questions and hundreds of Russian olim are starving in the dark.

How many peacenicks do you need to change a light bulb? We highly admire your courage to ask difficult questions.

How many 972/mondoweiss readers do you need to change a lightbulb? Look, the Zionists are already panicking, they know that America is leaving them in the dark!

Happy Yom haAtzmaut everyone!